Write Ups

With the kind permission of Quarterlines, the members publication of the TMYC, we reproduce here for you some of the write ups of Summer cruises on The Thames.

Click on the article title to go straight to the text, and click on the credits and date at the end of the article to get back to the top of the page.

We'd like to say the day dawned bridge and fair and we were ready for our first up river cruise in Mariner. As most of you will have experienced, the Friday we departed was the last chance for getting everything we needed, stowing it all on board and finishing those last minute jobs ready to go. At least we had our lovely new gas barbecue on board, ready for Henley and our first barbecue of the trip. Friday night found us at the Runneymede Hotel with several other Club boats for guess what - a barbecue dinner in the hotel! With Lady Audacious, Alex Dream, Lady Senora and Daisy Frances to keep us company we had a lovely evening, followed by a morning far brighter than the forecast of impending severe weather had led us to believe.

Off then to Cookham, which we had failed to realise was, of course, going to be a barbecue. After much preparation, and offers to grease her top rails, Alex Dream passed safely under Eton Bridge. One down, how many to go Alex? Cookham was a delight, much helped by Adam, the helpful lock keeper. Deciding it was about time we christened the boat, we opened up a good many bottles of fizz and invited everyone to join us "wetting its head". Cyril obviously took the drinking far too seriously and he was the first to fall over (see our pictures). After Carole and David's excellent pork and steaks, with salads and accompaniments by the ladies, we were further roused by the Commodore's kindly donated bottle of Croatian Brandy into games of `fluffy duck' and `bunny rabbit' (see Tony Ferris for full instructions). Long after everyone had staggered off to bed, Graham and I lay awake listening to a pair of owls hoot themselves into a frenzy, the like of which neither of us had ever heard before!

Then on to Henley, despite the unwanted assistance of an idiot at one lock, who threw the bow rope aboard whilst Graham was still on the tow path and the engines not yet started! I shall not dally over the moorings at Fawley Meadows; enough was said by Tony Burton at the `Welcome Back' ball! Suffice to say, I was in Waitrose's, your honour. Didn't see a thing! Lady Audacious provided an excellent reception in the evening, when we were delighted to be joined by Mamoru and Linda, with their daughter Yuki. The sight of a hire boat attempting to moor alongside Lady Audacious caused a few gasps until we realised who it was! By evening, Graham and I watched quite jealously as people strolled out for their Chinese, as by now we had come to light our splendid new barbecue, but after two previous charcoal-grilled meals, we were hardly feeling up to it. As we lay in our bunks that night, safe in the knowledge that we were leaving the cruise overnight to venture to the Beetle and Wedge for dinner, Graham began to giggle. "What is it?" I asked.

The Beetle and Wedge really is worth stopping at however, even just for lunch. Luckily we had booked well in advance, and they offered us their Water Garden mooring. We had begun building a shower in the heads before we left, and now was our opportunity to try it out. As we fitted the shower curtain and gave everything a final check, there was a little `meow' from the hotel cat, who leapt aboard, strolled into the saloon and promptly fell asleep. I waited patiently while Graham showered and dressed. Ours is such a tiny boat and only one person can move about with any ease. Then I sent him out to get a pint of beer, giving me a chance to try the shower. Unfortunately, it is such a small shower that tall people cannot quite stand upright in it. To rinse my hair of shampoo, I was obliged to bend myself double with my head between my knees. I was doing fine until the skipper decided it was time to take the ensign in and in his own inimitable fashion jumped onto the aft deck, removed the ensign and jumped back ashore. Leaving me braced against the walls, slamming from side to side in the heads, with the doors banging open. He gave me just enough time to get myself upright again before jumping into the cockpit to put the flag away. We now have a new rule - when someone's in the shower the other person sits VERY, VERY STILL somewhere. Preferably about two miles away...

The next morning, the cat and Merlin, the hotel's spaniel, both came to make sure we left properly, as we headed for Shillingford, via a chandlers for a pair of fairleads. I already had enough bruises to be a self-styled work of modern art and I was not getting any more. At Shillingford we heard the salutary tale of Sinemora being cast adrift in the night and several of us happily joined Sam and Lillian for a calming drink on board as we surveyed our moorings, plotting the capture of more bankside spaces as other boats left. The dread spectre of the trip to the ATYC at Henley raised its head as we surveyed the number of boats from other clubs who would be making their way down river at the same time as us, causing queues at locks. Plans were made for various people to go ahead, missing Goring, to ensure moorings at Sonning for the theatre. Daisy Frances was in celebratory mode, popping the Champagne corks for us all and making us very welcome. Several people made their way to the bar for dinner that night, but Graham and I took the opportunity to cook on board and read a good book, having spent most of the day catching up with everyone from the night before.

The next morning there were a few more spaces and we managed to capture a bankside mooring, with the help of several club members who guided us in. For those that were there, that's my version and I'm sticking to it! We were kindly invited onto Lady Audacious for coffee in the morning, and gladly accepted. As we all sat on their aft deck a helicopter came flying in at what appeared to be a dangerous angle, nearly clipping the taller masts and aerials, dodging between the trees and landing on the car park by the hotel. It was so small, when it was above us we thought it must be a large toy; but it turned out to be a full-size helicopter flown by one of the hotel managers. As it left, some hours later, I managed to get a photograph of it "buzzing" the boats. Laurie said it made it look as though he had a helicopter pad on his aft deck and he was waving friends off!

Another Champagne reception on the lawns before dinner, a brief photo call of everyone and off we went to dinner. I shall not dwell on the evening, suffice to say that good friends and happy company can make the best of any situation, and both are always in ample supply at the TMYC. Laurie sang a wonderful version of the `Eton Boating Song', and everyone was thanked for their help in making the cruise such a pleasure. We did, indeed feel that we had all pulled together.

Thursday brought us to Goring, to find the fleet much depleted. Many boats had gone on to Sonning in the hope of securing moorings for the theatre-goers and we were left rather short-handed for dinner at the Miller of Mansfield. Goring is a beautiful little village with some tiny treasures that you could only ever find in England, such as the non-self-service grocers shop which still slices its own, home-cured bacon. And it was delicious! In the evening Maggie and Ron did us proud with a G & T reception on what appeared to be their own private lawn especially reserved for the TMYC. I left a few minutes ahead of the group and was greeted as I re-emerged by an out of breath Graham panting, "Commodore, camera, hire boat!". Apparently Arabella's fluffy toy had gone for a swim, resulting in the Commodore taking to the decks of a hire boat with a boat hook to fish it out. Having done so, he leaned proprietarily on the rail and the opportunity of such a photograph had proved irresistible. Unfortunately, Graham didn't get there in time to take it.

Sonning brought the theatre for some or, in our case, another splendid dinner at The Bull Inn, The food there is so good, so unusual, and in such good quantity that it really is worth going there by car. We had a wonderful honey-glazed oven-roast quarter of duck on a blackberry wine sauce, served with potatoes (they come in many different ways, we had one mashed and one roasted with Rosemary and garlic), and two dishes of vegetables which consisted of braised celery, tiny bundles of French beans tied with bacon, crunch carrot batons... Sorry, I'll stop there. I'm making myself hungry.

From Sonning it was back to Henley and the ATYC rally. On the Saturday (a day that rained far more than it shone!) we made our way to Temple Island for the Commodore's presentation. He and Alex were presented with a set of watercolours of Thames views and we managed to find a card for everyone to sign that was also a watercolour of Henley, making a matched set. We all had fun queuing for the barbecue that night, even if it was a little on the charred side! (Please promise me, NO MORE BARBECUES this year.)

We were up and ready early on the Sunday for the competition. MacWinburn and Mshale worked so very hard that morning, doing their best in difficult circumstances against clubs from all along the Thames. They were even competing against Royal Naval reserves. The boys on MacWinburn prayed so hard for help, that it looks as though they had brought their own temple along for the foredeck! Tony's report of the competition in the last Quarterlines gave you the professional side of things, but from my point of view, my stomach was in knots. And I wasn't even competing. Brandies were swiftly applied to unsettled nerves as we waited for the results. The evening's debrief seemed to take forever, as each exercise was examined in depth. Finally the results were announced, with no mention of TMYC until the very end, when nerves were at their most raw and then mention was made of a silver going "to a boat who very nearly didn't make it here today." Kevin's face lit up, along with everyone else in the crew, having won silver individually and a bronze for the Club. "What a perfect end of a wonderful cruise. At last we can relax" I though. No such hope. Our dinner dance celebrations were cut short and Kevin and Janet left after the results were announced, hoping to avoid the rush of the following day. The first lock had very kindly been left with power on all night, and so they sailed through there with Ocean Odyssey. At 0600 the next morning we were woken by Severa, Alex Dream, Daisy Frances and a few other boats pulling out. We quickly dressed and slipped moorings, getting the first lock open just as the Royal Navy pulled up (Hooray! More hands to the pumps); at least the next locks could be shared. Two locks down we discovered Kevin and Peter Horsfield working the lock, having freed Ocean Odyssey from a mud bank with the timely help of Severa. It seemed we missed everyone by the closing or opening of a lock gate for the rest of that day and I'm sure everyone else must have felt the same. Each of us shuffled through until finally we made it home. We worked the last three locks ourselves with two boats from other clubs further down, only to find that the Royal Navy had liked us all so much they were stopping for the night on our moorings.

As I settled back to rest I was told "don't get comfy, there's a grand prix to watch yet!" So much for this relaxed life of boating. Still, we had such a wonderful time - especially when we all pulled together.

On the most perfect English summer's afternoon the leading boats of the up-river cruise made fast at Windsor Yacht Club, our excellent hosts for the first night of a whole succession of delightful moorings with adjacent gourmet restaurants.

Thence we proceeded in leisurely fashion a lock here a lock there, our numbers changing as the days passed, while boats joined us and boats departed. We were also well supported by car cruisers who made great efforts to join the cruise at different destinations. Particularly, Maggie and Ron who drove to Cookham to help with the barbecue, returned home, cruised to Shillingford, returned, then drove to Runneymede. Jacquie and Pat also drove to Cookham, returned then drove to Shillingford, hitched a berth to Abingdon, returned and later drove to Runnymede. Fran and David joined us for an evening at Pangbourne to host a drinks party and bring us the Commodores greetings and gifts. At the Plough we met Peter Horsfield and Lynn Jones. Moulsford attracted even more supporters: Nancy and Ken, Monique and Gerald, Len and Anita and Becky and Dougie. Doubtless they were lured by the Mshale Ferry Service operated by Cyril from the opposite bank where we were guests of Natalie and Graham for yet more drinks, to the very lawns of the Beetle and Wedge.

Always lots of un, every night we hosted each other at drinks and nibbles parties. At the Barley Mow, Clifton Hampden, our organisers had arranged a quiz inspired by the canine companion of "Three Men in a Boat" and at Shillingford Bridge, the Inaugural Pooh Sticks Challenge Cup. Dorothy Paul's twig using the colours of Peco Prince, zoomed ahead, washed up all the opposition and won in 35.6 seconds.

Of course, it had to rain. It was England in August. Between Goring and Sonning about two and a half inches of rain fell in five hours, but we received such a wonderful welcome at Upper Thames Motor Yacht Club where Brenda and Peter Shalless went to enormous trouble to look after us. They allotted moorings plus power, opened the Clubhouse, made tea, and baked cakes.

Altogether a terrific cruise, all due to masterly organisation. Thanks a million Natalie and Graham from all of us: Camyak, Corona, Leighway, Mshale, Nautical Aire, Peco Prince, Severa, Silver Otter, Tosca B and Yellow Rose.

Six months ago, I innocently asked our Commodore "Where is the up river cruise in your programme?" Take a tip from one who now knows - don't ask - it's the same as volunteering. The first task was to fix the dates. Kevin said it was to run concurrent with the foreign cruise, so it was relatively easy for Graham and I to look in our diaries and choose a fortnight. That was the last easy thing we did.

David Duncan-Skingle was a star, providing me with phone numbers and addresses for places he and Fran had visited for last year's cruise. From there I sat down with the map, a direct line to directory enquiries, and a loan application form to cover the 'phone bill. I was handicapped by the fact that Graham and I had only completed one up river cruise, and had very little knowledge of the watering holes and stop-overs available. Moorings were nothing more than an `M' on the map, they don't come with details of cost, availability or who to book with - or indeed if they can be booked. The Lock Keepers helped enormously. If you want to know about moorings or hostelries, ask a Lock Keeper!

It took about three weeks to narrow things down to an approximate agenda. This was achieved by calling every restaurant, pub, park and local authority, seeing who did food or accommodation, and on what days; researching local information, availability of supermarkets, shops, busses and parking; discarding those stops that were not suitable - for whatever reason - then trying to pick a route through the remaining information.

It finally came down to laying everything out in order along the map, and calculating how much could be done in one day, and how far a boat could travel at 4 knots with locks. Extra time had to be allowed for sunny weekends, and boltholes held in reserve in case of rain. My head hurt a lot, and it took several days and many bottles of wine to finalise a route up river, then down again. Being a novice, I regularly asked Graham for his input. He flicked briefly through the papers and muttered, "Mmm, it's fine."

Needless to say, once it had been plotted, printed and circulated, he gave his well considered input. "If we've got to be in Moulsford by 19.30 hours on the Tuesday, you might want to consider swapping Ozney and Abingdon so we don't have too many locks to do. Otherwise we might not make it." At that point he decided it was time to go to work, and not come back until I had calmed down.

Having stuck out my neck with the agenda, initial contacts had to be taken to the next stage. I began to negotiate mooring rates, fix prices for dinners, print up menus, select wines, and make menu choices. To avoid previous disasters I maintained close contact with the relevant people at the hostels, decided which activities could be undertaken to keep everyone amused on the slower days, visited as many of the destinations as possible so that I knew where I was going when we got there, as well as collecting local tourist information and checking out eateries. I picked everyone's brains along the way: Shirley Ferris for a good source of meat, Carole and David Fear on how to organise the perfect cook-out, Jennifer Stevens and David Duncan-Skingle told me about Days Lock for Poohsticks, Maggie and Ron gave me the secret of Fred's barbecue logs, David Jones tracked down a fish and chip shop in Windsor, Peter and Brenda Shalless gave me the number for Byron and Eileen Alexander who own the mooring in Moulsford, and they in turn told me of The Plough at Long Wittenham, and Ben and Laurie Atlas gave me the name of the John Barleycorn in Goring and ... much more.

The paperwork multiplied as we opened the cruise to non-boaters. As some of you know, I was originally a social member, and found that the cruises create a void in the Club's social calendar. This led Graham and I to a long weekend creating flyers for many of the events. Each day had to have a sheet describing the events, the travel involved, and important information about moorings, regattas, or equipment that might be needed. The quizzes needed to be typed up, as well as answer sheets. I am grateful to Ken Gazzard and David Duncan-Skingle for the cheat sheets they had created from previous years, and to which I added. A couple of hours pouring over the map resulted in the (nearly) ultimate list of riverside resources for fuel, rubbish points, pump outs and water taps; I needed an overview of who was joining us at which event, and another for everyone else marking start points, destinations, locks and mileages. A list was created of restaurants and menu choices, so place cards could be created to remind people of their choices. Then there were the update sheets as plans were finalised, the photocopies of maps and menus, lists of boat dimensions, participants, mobile phone numbers, VHF contact information - all of which resulted in the comment "At last, I've found someone who can create more paperwork than me!" - Thanks Michael.

The final factor was, would anyone come? For several weeks our only confirmation was from Harry and Jean, and that only three folders were taken from the briefing did little to boost our confidence. Should we cancel? For weeks I had insisted that it was a good cruise, and we were getting a great reaction and a lot of support. Everyone from Ivor and Adrienne down had offered their encouragement, and Kevin and Janet assured us that as the Club tends to book late, we'd be fine. However, things soon started to happen, and enquiries and bookings trickled in, indeed even up to just three days before we were due to leave! The non-boating members were even slower, but eventually we had a good list of people who said they would join us at various events.

The normally frantic level of pre-cruise activity was amplified - we had prizes to buy and drinks to get in for receptions. The first aid kit got an overhaul, and the boat was cleaned inside and out. We made sure we had all the kit and equipment for the barbecue do, candles for Cliveden, travel games in-case of rain, Poohsticks painted in an array of colours, the outboard and dinghy as safety boat or ferry, place cards to be written up en-route, and (lastly?) mobile phone charges to ensure communication at all times. Arms were twisted for help. Diana Jones did some wonderful salads for us and loaned us some fridge space for the meat, Maggie and Ron brought the logs, along with fresh French bread - and a gazebo, just in case.

I was starting to get seriously stressed out - I had everyone's holiday in my hands, and I was worried I would let them down. My blood pressure was going up day by day, but Graham reassured me that as soon as we left our mooring I'd relax. Some hope. For all my careful planning, there are things it is almost impossible to allow for. Some plans fell through - the brewery at Henley is undergoing renovation, which will not be finished until 2003. Some plans were changed slightly to accommodate everyone, such as the last minute change of moorings at Pangbourne from the meadow to The Swan; and some plans can only happen en-route, including the re-siting of Poohsticks due to recalcitrant Duty Lock Keepers.

On the cruise itself, everyone could not have been more helpful and supportive. From time to time, we had calls from Kevin and Janet in France, to make sure all was going well, and we conveyed their best wishes to everyone. Cyril helped to smooth the way ahead of us, and he and Maureen, and Bill and Alice deserve a special mention for the help they provided at Moulsford, which allowed the evening to go so well. Everyone in turn took me aside and asked discreetly if they could do a reception, or provide wine for a meal, to which I was delighted to say "yes, please!" And, all of us took our turn at being mooring masters - a job for which I felt singularly under-qualified!

We had our less than glittering moments: Cliveden was rained off, Leighway had engine trouble, Silver Otter left the cruise at Goring to accompany Bill and Alice home - just in case! (All the skippers volunteered their help, even to the point of hanging up side down, `bat-like' in Bill's bilges to sort the problem.) Nautical Aire left the cruise with an electrical fault (try a smaller telly, Ron!), and Sally and Bill briefly disappeared due to a sudden bereavement. But we took it all in our stride. After the wonderful evening at Shillingford Bridge Hotel, where they acquitted themselves admirably, nothing could spoil our enjoyment.

At Moulsford Graham and I were presented with a splendid ships bell, to replace the one we had let go with Graham's old boat, and a beautiful water-colour of Abingdon. I couldn't read the card at the time, as I could feel the tears welling up. We received lots of praise for our efforts throughout the cruise - but the truth is that it is not the organisation, or the phone calls, or the paperwork that makes it work. It is the people you are fortunate enough to cruise with. Without all those who joined us and contributed, each in their own way, no matter how small, or for how long, the cruise would have been no more than a series of bookings. And, as much as we love our presents and the wonderful things you wrote in our card, the true gift was being able to watch you enjoy yourselves. The sight of a table full of smiling, happy faces is a wonderful experience only achievable with a lot of help from our friends.

Graham and I would like to take this opportunity to offer some heartfelt thanks to those people that made the up-river cruise possible. We'd like to thank all those that organised receptions, including Bill & Jan Amos, David & Diana Jones, Roy & Janice Atkins, Maggie & Ron, Brian & Barbara Dixon and Mike Channon and David Boote. Thanks to Allen & Brenda Waters for not only coming on the cruise, but for inviting us all to toast their 33rd wedding anniversary at Shillingford, and supplying the fizz to toast with! Cyril & Maureen and Bill & Alice get a big thank you for their help at Moulsford with our reception, and for playing ferry boat two years running. Bill and Jan get thanks for ferrying us all to Henley and back at dinner time, and David Jones for all his ferry work and the loan of his tender at Henley and Days Lock. David & Fran get a special thank you for the wonderful print they presented us with, as well as the now much used umbrella. Thanks to Lyn & Peter for their gift, and to all the reprobates at Abingdon who were in on the fly swat scheme. My personal thanks to Stan Lodge and Graham for fishing me out of the river at Cliveden, and Margaret for the offer of a hot shower. Perhaps the biggest thanks go to Carole and David Fear, with young Imogen, who drove all the way out to Cookham Island, lived in a tent for two nights, roasted an entire sheep and a whole heap of sausages, concocted the most wonderful rum punch which they then applied liberally to all present, and who after driving all the way home again turned up at the RNLI fund raiser at Weybridge! David & Diana and Peter & Pam deserve our thanks for shopping for us en-route to Cookham, then fetching our supper at Windsor, as well as making up some wonderful salads to go with the barbecued sheep. We also need to thank everyone that entertained us in liberal TMYC fashion at every possible opportunity - without your lubrication where would we be? And of course we have to thank Mike Channon for agreeing to write up the events for Quarterlines, as well as Andrew and Elaine for editorship and all who have sent in photographs. Finally, to those that think they only turned up and enjoyed themselves, we also send our thanks. Without all of you to help the fun along, the cruise wouldn't be half as nice!

Day 2 - Cookham - as people arrive I discover that Charlie Bells was a disaster. Too late to do anything about it now, but people are complaining about drinks taking an hour to arrive, and the staff being unable to use their initiative. Reminder to self - don't go there again! Fortunately the evening goes well, apart from the usual nuisance of having to evict a certain raver and his friends. At least this year we were mob handed, and even the EA helped us out.

Day 4 - After letting everyone know that the brewery tour is off, I just have time to round up people for tea at Asquiths. I get back in time to pour myself a glass of fizz and write up the cards for tonight's meal (so that everyone remembers what they ordered several weeks ago). As I finish distributing them I discover I have 5 minutes to run back to the boat to change. I arrive almost last at Seascape and off we go to the restaurant. Having informed the management earlier that we will be arriving by boat I did not expect to find the gates still locked, however.... After some struggling we finally get ashore only to find that the restaurant is part of Brakspears and almost all their staff have walked out. The manager is now also the chef for the evening, and there is one elderly woman serving in the bar, the restaurant, taking hotel bookings and serving our function. Needless to say, things needed a little help. I drew up a seating plan, so bills could be split, then I let everyone know that they had to order their wine from the bar, then I asked how people wanted their meat cooked. After soothing ruffled feathers on both sides I sit down to eat, only to find that I get the only over cooked steak at the whole table. Oh well, there's food on board. Note to self - don't got there again, either!

Day 5 - It rains. And it rains. And then it rains some more. By the time we get to Pangbourne there's not a dry bit of clothing left on board. As we passed Caversham we were so wet and cold that we stopped at Tescos for a hot meal and to buy some dry clothes for the evening. Everyone's saying if the weather carries on like this they're going home. I've got news for them, if it carries on like this we're going home! Fortified with hot chocolate liberally dosed with dark rum, we soldier on, leaving a few boats behind that don't fancy boating in the downpour. At Pangbourne we're welcomed onboard Poggiare, who promptly spring a leak in their canopy. The rain noise inside is so loud you can barely hear yourself shout. Harry and Jean arrive with news of their damage. Surprise surprise, Jean decides it's my fault. Harry apparently went below to call me, leaving Jean behind the wheel where she was surprised by a tree. After much discussion it is decided that at least one of us has to stay at the restaurant, but if the weather subsides Graham will make a dash for Tosca B's reception. It never did subside. Ken and Nancy arrive with horror stories of flooded roads and washed out Waitrose at Marlow, and we all decide after dinner that we're far too tired to do any more than offer the prize for the up river quiz. The fun and games can wait for another year.

Day 8 - Knew it was too good to last. The reception was great, the food terrific, due to the floods we have the room almost to ourselves, the disco was good. Then management tapped me on the shoulder and said "can you please not let the wedding guests onto your dance floor. Some of them are quite drunk and causing a problem." Margaret Lodge clarified the situation by telling me that Fran had dragged three twenty something young men onto the dance floor. I duly went to investigate. Sure enough, there they were, dancing. I spoke to Fran, who pointed out the one problem person in the group, and I set off to talk to his mates, since he wasn't in a mood to communicate. This is where disaster struck. The tallest of the group was almost seven feet tall, and no light weight. He danced backwards, throwing all his weight onto the heel of one foot, which unfortunately landed on one of mine. Ouch! Fortunately I was suitably anaesthetised at the time, and managed to dance on for the rest of the evening. As for the wedding party contingent, they were good as gold - eventually.

Day 11 - Poohsticks goes as planned (almost!), everyone is happy, and we all head off for Moulsford. Having agreed a timescale with Cyril for ferry duties, I sit down with a glass of fizz, and Graham and I invite Roy & Janice to join us for a drink as I write up the name plates for the evenings table plan. As I finish writing I ask the time - I've now got 20 minutes to lay the name plates out, cut a buttonhole for each one from the bunch of flowers bought at Wallingford, place buttonholes next to cards, then use the remaining lilies to refresh the vases on the tables. By the time I've done that and cleaned up the mess I've made, I've about 10 seconds to get dressed! Everyone arrives on the opposite bank freshly showered and smartly dressed to find a hot sweaty hostess mixing drinks and wearing deck shoes with sequins. Not my usual style, but my foot won't let me wear my high heels. Every time I looked at my shoes it started to throb, so I didn't bother. But it is the only fuss of the evening. All goes well, with no choking episodes, no falling in the water and no loud berating of waiters. Wonderful.

Day 13 - ****** rain! My sun tan's turning to rust. Fortunately it stayed away whilst we moored all the boats. We had a very leafy glade for Maggie's reception, which stayed dry until the end of the drinks, when we moved into the not so leafy glade as the rain had now stopped and it was just dripping leaves. Rushing to get everything out on the tables I call Graham several times to help me down. Then I spot him ignoring me, lose my patience and step down from the boat onto a sloping bank. Me, you know, the one who put mind your step on the flyer! I managed to land on my bad foot, which hurt so much I lifted it, leaving my heel to slide down the bank. Hastily I shoved the two bowls of salad, salad servers, salad dressing and lantern that I had been holding up the bank as I dropped neatly between the boat and the shore. I know I was only in 2 foot of water, but I couldn't get up, my damaged foot was under me, so I couldn't push myself up with it, and even if I could it would have sunk into the mud, I couldn't get a grip on anything because it was all smooth and wet, and I was slipping slowly backwards. I didn't have a clue what I'd do when my head went under, so I shouted for help. At least I thought I was shouting. Turns out only Stan Lodge and Graham heard me ("now he chooses to hear me!"), and I was hauled up onto the bank. No harm done, and a quick shower later all was as new. Right up until I went to put out the huge candle torches that ringed the glade and spilled hot wax on my fingers. Ow! As Jenny Warner put it when we got home, some one is trying to tell me something about cruising!

Day 14 - Rain, rain and more rain. Thank goodness we're on the homeward stretch. We moored up at Windsor Yacht Club to discover the most awful smell. It turned out someone had scrapped the bottom of a boat next to the club house the previous day, and the mussels were still heaped on the hard and foreshore. It was just like mooring next to a festering household rubbish dump. Wading through the rain we managed to get someone to deal with the offending articles just in time for the sun to come out. Then hide whilst it rained, then come out again, then hide again... and so the pattern for the evening was set. Notice as I'm going to bed that the scarlet bruising is spreading along my toes now, although the black bruise underneath is fading nicely.

Day 15 - Guess what the weather did today! Getting to Weybridge and finding the moorings empty, with only Leighway and Emydidae following to moor, we decided to go home and come back later by car. A hot shower! Dry clothes! Bliss! Well, it would have been if we hadn't had the heavens open as we emptied the boat, leading to flash floods and lots of stationery traffic. A quick stand under the shower, clean clothes and into the clammy, still packed car to go to Weybridge. It was probably just as well we drove, we both needed drying out from alcohol as well as water!

Don't let the list of disasters put you off going on a cruise with the TMYC. If you read Mike Channon's write up you'll see that compared to the fun we have, the disasters are very few and mostly the reserve of the organisers. By the time you sit down for dinner most of the problems have been smoothed out for you. And there's always one falling in and one injury every year - although it is a bit unusual for them to happen to the same person! I'm just lucky I guess.

In 1959, a very young David Boote cruised up the river to Lechlade with his parents Tom and Jean on their brand new 22 foot cruiser My Fair Lady. David enjoyed going up river so much that he felt he must do it again. 43 years later ………he did…this time with Mike Channon on his Princess 414 Fly Spirit.

We were a little late setting off from the Club mooring on Saturday as we had only collected the boat out of the boatyard on Friday evening and a great deal of cleaning and tidying had to be done. Fortunately, we had an easy run through the 6 locks to Bell Weir where we joined up with the rest of the club boats. Dinner had been arranged at Charlie Bells restaurant in the Runnymede Hotel and while some of the food wasn’t so bad, the delay in serving it was appalling. So much so that Derek Prentice, who was crewing on Yellow Rose, made such strong representations to the management, that the food bill was waived and we just paid for the drinks. However, no amount of discount could compensate for the loss of a decent meal on our first night out even though the problems had the effect of uniting us all and we made the most of the evening.

The sun was shining brightly as we arose on Sunday and prepared ourselves for the next leg of 7 locks from Bell Weir lock, past historic Runnymede where the Magna Carta was signed (clause 23 granted the right to navigation of the Thames) and on to Cookham Island. For the bigger boats low bridges are the main worry and so at Old Windsor lock, we carefully measured our air draught. We should get under Windsor Bridge but Cookham Lock Cut is problematical.. Through Romney Lock towards Windsor Bridge the boat is carefully positioned dead centre, Mike stands behind with his eyes at anchor light height, our highest fixed point. David is steering and has to duck down on the seat. “OK” says Mike “ there’s clearance”, so through we go with the Navtec aerial pinging as it touches the bridge girders. That Bridge is 13’2” high. Cookham Lock Cut is only 12’6”.!! We swallow hard and carry on.

We are behind Seascape at Cookham Lock and as we rise in the lock, the bridge ahead gets lower and lower. Bill on Seascape, which has slightly less air draught than us, edges up to the bridge and not centred, backs off but gets through on the second attempt. Now its our turn. Will our cruise end at Cookham?

We approached the dreaded bridge at dead slow speed and stopped. David is prostrate on the upper helm seat with the bridge fractionally above him. The engines are in neutral as we hand our way under. The anchor light is too high with a minus 3” factor to contend with. By suspending himself from the light gantry, Mike was able to obtain barely sufficient aerial whip to enable us to scrape through with David accelerating to lower the stern. We made it with great sighs of relief and congratulations all round and arrived at Cookham Island by backing down the weir stream past all the other boats. Forgetting the tip to carry torches and secateurs we edged our way through stinging nettles and growth for some time before eventually arriving at the BBQ setting on the river bank. This was to be the Teddy Bear Picnic. David and Carol Fear and their grand daughter Imogen (who was unanimously adjudged the winner of the cutest bear contest) had camped on the Island overnight and with an ingenious Heath Robinson rotating spit, built and patented by David Fear, had roasted a whole lamb. We were all able to enjoy well cooked meat after the debacle at Charlie Bells. The food was excellent and if you chose the grubbiest looking foil covered potato, it was well cooked and delicious. Getting back on board was quite hazardous and Jean Boote, faced with a single steep narrow 8 foot plank, couldn’t bring herself to attempt the hazard. It only needed the point of a cutlass in the back to simulate former times. However, with the gallant help of Peter Horsfield, she succeeded in walking the plank.

Monday morning its anchors away and off to beautiful Marlow. It is hot again today, hot with a capital H and very humid. It is only 5 miles and one lock but really much too hot to go further. By the time we moored at Marlow we were both absolutely drained. Some purchases were necessary however and we reluctantly made the journey to the shops and wine merchants. The George and Dragon was host to us in the evening, where we enjoyed a very acceptable meal after being well entertained by Seascape at reception time.

It is Tuesday and another scorcher! Cruising on the river cools the air a little but without shade, the conditions were almost unbearable. Happily, we only have another short trip and 3 locks to Fawley Meadows at Henley. When we arrived all the bank side moorings were taken. This was a great relief to us as we had yet to procure our own rond anchors. So, with our bow section on Portfolio and our stern on Leighway, we made ourselves comfortable. Events for the day included a brewery tour, High Tea at Asquiths Teddy Bear shop and Tea Rooms. We all had dinner in Henley with Seascape providing us with a Ferry Service to and from the Little White Hart. The meal, served virtually single-handed by our hostess, was most enjoyable and contributed to a convivial evening ending with a rapid and uninhibited return in darkness on Seascape to our moorings .

Thankfully the heat has gone but this Wednesday morning it is pouring with rain - absolutely chucking it down. Necessarily we were steering from the lower helm. With completely misted up windows and on a particularly bendy stretch of the Thames with 6 locks to find and negotiate, it was extremely difficult to thread our way through the islands. But with only two near misses, we arrived and moored at the Swan at Pangbourne. We were not the only boat having trouble that day. Harry and Jean on Silver Otter took on a sizeable tree and lost, smashing the pulpit, stripping the handrails on the port side and putting a fist sized hole in the Raydome. Meanwhile Mike Jones on Portfolio, who before setting off had had to do a strip search to find his boat keys, whilst taking photographs with his new camera also had a moment with a tree. Putting his camera safely down on the helm seat, he went forward to extricate the boat from the tree only to return and sit heavily on his new toy, distorting the telephoto lens out of shape. Fortunately, there were no casualties on the day with perhaps the exception of the insurance companies. The reception was to be sponsored by Tosca B, moored below the lock and about half a mile away. In vile conditions only the hardiest made it but all appeared for what proved to be an excellent well served and sensibly priced meal.

The rain had cleared by Thursday morning and we are greeted with a fresh and invigorating morning for the short trip from Pangbourne to Goring with no locks to negotiate. We took advantage of the grocers shop to buy home cured bacon and other goodies and visited the small mall. The Miller of Mansfield provided our well served evening meal and with good company how could we but enjoy the occasion.

Today, Friday, we have three locks to pass through as we head for our two day stop at the Shillingford Bridge Hotel. The London River Yacht Club’s Alan Walters and his wife Brenda, who were cruising with us, gave a lunchtime champagne party to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Vice Commodore Bill Amos presented a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a card signed by all present. Digital photographs that Graham Ford had taken of the presentation were then used to create an A4 full size colour print on board Fly Spirit that was presented to the happy couple, much to their surprise and delight, within the hour. At 1800 hours a reception arranged by David Boote and Mike Channon , ably assisted by Natalie, was well attended until, as stated on the coloured invitation card, “ the booze ran out” In fact the booze won. The authors retired early that night whilst those who were still hungry made their own additional eating arrangements.

Saturday arrives and although a beautiful Hotel in delightful surroundings, all boats were plagued by the most persistent flies who seemed to thrive on the large doses of insecticide, treating it more as a pre-curser to greater dynamic energy. We even walked up the hill to the caravan shop and bought a 12volt Insect-O-Cutor, which proved effective only when the intruders were struck mightily by the apparatus as a makeshift swatter. Most of Saturday we spent cleaning and polishing our boat. Suffice it to say there were far too few offers of help but lots of gratuitous (“……you’ve missed that bit…”) and other useless words of advice. We were all delighted to be joined here by the Commodore and his Lady, who had been delayed by important family commitments. A champagne reception on the lawns preceded the Dinner Dance with ‘Whites and Blazers’ at the Hotel. We were made most welcome and invited to use the hotels amenities including their open air swimming pool and the Squash Club’s showers. The highly efficient staff were warmly thanked by our Commodore in his address after dinner. The evening was quite a success with plenty of exercise for the energetic.

On Sunday, Silver Otter left us to return home for urgent repairs. All those able to negotiate the very low Culham Lock Cut bridge (too low for us), proceeded through 3 locks up river for a couple of days to Abingdon, where a roast dinner awaited at the Nag’s Head, and then on to Clifton Hampden. Natalie and Graham as usual provided comprehensive notes on the historical and other attractions of Abingdon, considered to be the oldest town in Britain.

Monday brought them back down river through 2 locks to Clifton Hampden Lunch was taken at the Plough (the Commodore’s favourite) and the Barley Mow provided the evening meal and was the setting for a quiz. Referred to as the Montmorency evening, one cannot but wonder what a former Constable of France, who fought wars against the Huguenots and negotiated the Peace of Cambrai, had to do with the evening - doubtless all will be revealed in the fullness of time. (Note from The Angel - Montmorency was Jerome K Jerome's dog in Three Men in a Boat!)

On Tuesday, through two locks on their way back down river, Poohsticks for the TMYC Challenge Cup was played at the bridge over the river at Days Lock and won by Maureen Arrow. Individually we converged onto moorings opposite the Beetle and Wedge Hotel at Moulsford for the gastronomic climax of the cruise preceded by Natalie and Grahams Champagne Reception. Suited and booted in full regalia we were ferried across the river and back by Cyril Arrow with Mshale and did indeed enjoy pure gastronomic delight.

5 Locks and 15 miles away today, Wednesday, is the Upper Thames Motor Yacht Club on Sonning Eye Island where an evening meal had been arranged at the Bull Hotel. Finding Sonning from the Club was not a problem. However, as neither of us had been to the Bull before, we made our way over the eleven arches of the brick bridge and followed a somewhat tortuous uphill path, skirting a graveyard we should have crossed. Luckily we found a local who actually knew the Pub and was in the process of guiding other lost souls. Arriving after the rest we nonetheless enjoyed a very wholesome and enjoyable meal at an extremely sensible price particularly as the anticipated UTMYC tea, cake and open bar had failed to materialise.

Today is Thursday, the 8^th August, and we traversed 8 locks to the beautiful Clifton reach to reserved island moorings (with placards stuck on every tree ‘Reserved for TMYC’). Natalie obviously has influence in all the right places! The weather was unkind but undaunted, and under the canopy of trees, we enjoyed a rather wet but spontaneous evening preceded by Ron and Maggie’s hospitality who had just joined the fleet with Nautical Aire.

On Friday, we left to return to the Club Moorings not simply to miss the weekend traffic but also to undertake the tasks of Duty Officer for the weekend.

We wonder how many ventured inwards and upwards over the 172 steps to Cliveden House, the infamous setting for the Profumo affair.

The cruise continued on its way negotiating the two locks to Windsor Marina where the Yacht Club’s bar and other amenities were available including the shower block. David and Diana Jones were helping to organise a take away fish supper.

On Saturday 10^th August we were nearly home and the last stop on the voyage was to the Old Crown at Weybridge, where we were joined for the evening meal by a “well plastered” Laurie and Beverley Atlas and also by Mark and Jenny Warner (despite Mark’s recent heart attack). Jenny had organised a raffle in aid of RNLI. First prize went to Bob Smith.

Graham and Natalie can be warmly congratulated on arranging such an enjoyable, varied and extremely successful cruise with so many boats and crews joining in at various stages. The plethora of information and historical references provided for each of the days journey were sufficient to write a volume and one can but imagine the enormous amount of time, energy and personal expense incurred by them for our great benefit. There can be no doubt that their tremendous efforts were greatly appreciated by all.

As regards the Thames itself, despite extensive developments in many riverside locations, the river still retains so much of its natural charm and tranquillity together with so many places of interest and excellent restaurants providing sensibly priced quality fare.

Having thoroughly enjoyed the cruise David has already pencilled in another trip in 2045!!